What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 16:13
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I was scared of men, in general
Video: Right, We Need To Talk About GameChat On Switch 2 - Nintendo Life
I was seconnd youngest,
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Tensions rise as Patrick slams Abbott’s veto of THC ban: ‘Legalizes marijuana in Texas’ - KHOU
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
What are the bitter truths of life one should know?
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Why are people with Asperger syndrome unenthusiastic?
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Put me off passion for life!!
I couldn’t, believe it.
Can AI replace a product manager?
All the time i was locked up.
He knew the spot.
She was in good health!
MGK makes rare appearance with teen daughter for whom he is a ‘cheerleader’ - CNN
I said to her
My mum and dad in the seventies!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Mission Control: Eye of the Storm - NASA (.gov)
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Resilience may protect against psychopathic traits in people with childhood trauma - PsyPost
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
She found it foreign!.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
And i lived it daily.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Would this be the day?
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
One cannot live in the past .
I write beautiful poetry .
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
My life is so biszare .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Was to survive, this bastard.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
But, we were locked up after school.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I think the readers, may guess!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
We all went to grammer schools
(And it was in our own minds.)
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I waited trembling.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Why did i forgive my father ?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Who then, do I blame.?
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Ive learnt so much.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
She loved him until the end.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I know ,a lot about trauma.
He resisted the act ,that day.
My family never makes their pension either.
But ive been too sick for many years..
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
She wouldn,t have been !
What did i know ?
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
She married twice! .
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I will be 64.
I never cut or harmed myself..
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
When she asked me how she looked .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
We were not on the streets..
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Especially a lifetime of it.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I was 9 years of age.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
It was going to be , some day.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
So, i spoilt her more .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
So whats the point in blame.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Im still living with it.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
This is soul school!.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
But it wasn’t much.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
As i do to all so called friends.?
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I was very sick at this time too.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I have no regrets .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Comes on , in middle age.
I don,t even have a pension.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)